The Dream
by Rousdower
Summary: Khan Noonien Singh encounter Thranduil of Mirkwood (or is it Smirkwood?)


**This is for the amazing Wunderkind. Not quite what you had in mind. I'll probably end up doing one with Loki eventually. Fear not.**

Khan Noonien Singh was having a bad week. First He was woken up by some idiot admiral called Marcus, who has decided to hold the augment crew captive and shake them over Khan's head in exchange for weapons of mass destruction. He hasn't had a wink of sleep. One. Single. Wink.

He put a new and improved phaser together in the record time of 51 and a half seconds, so he decided to take a nap. Yawning he closed his eyes and fell asleep right there in his chair.

_When he opened his eyes the first thing that he noticed was trees. Lots of trees. And not any type he'd ever seen. He must be dreaming. It had been so long since he had seen a tree so he couldn't be blamed when he twirled around and sang a happy song. He froze, surprised at himself. He did NOT sing happy songs. And the last time he'd twirled out of joy was when he heard that the conquest of Asia was a success and that he was the successful tyrant. It must be the dream._

_Out of the blue, a stern voice said in a commanding tone, "DARO!" Khan froze and looked around to locate the threat. Not seeing anything, he took a cautious step forward._

_An arrow flew by his face, using his awesome superhuman reflexes, he caught it and examined it curiously. He looked up and there were four people, no _elves,_ glaring at him. Since when did elves become real? Oh wait. He was dreaming._

_"Come with us, human." said the first one._

_"And why should I?" he said in his lovely baritone voice._

_"Because you are in the territory of the wood-elves, therefore subject to the law which, in rule number 5,683 clearly states, that any trespasser found within the borders of Mirkwood are to be brought immediately to the Elvenking." the second one said. The other three nodded vigorously. _

_Khan for some reason, felt the need to comply, so he shrugged his powerful augmented shoulders and said, "Very well. Take me to your leader."_

_They walked for about ten minutes till they came to a bunch of pretty tree roots that formed what looked like an entryway of some sort. Khan figured that this must be where the Elvenking lived._

_They walked through a hallway made of roots and over bridges made of roots... what was with all the roots? Khan hated roots. He hated underground as a matter of fact. These elves were more like rabbits than anything. Why was he having this stupid dream anyways?_

_They reached what Khan guessed must have been the throne room, judging by the ginormous throne in the center. He looked over the side of a bridge. A big black hole. These elves should consider railings. This couldn't possibly be safe._

_He noticed a rather tall and majestic looking elf with a bunch of sticks on his head (after some reflection, Khan realized it was a crown), standing with his back turned to them. One of the guards bowed and said, "Your majesty, we found this human dancing and singing in the forest."_

_"Leave us," said the king._

_Khan stood and silently regarded the other elf._

_"Why were you in my forest."_

_"I am dreaming."_

_"Good enough. And why were you singing."_

_"Dreaming."_

_"Ah. Who are you?"_

_Khan lifted his head proudly and stated, "I am Khan Noonian Singh, Augment, Tyrant, Warlord, Ruler of Asia, Cuddler of Fluffy Bunnies," wait WHAT? STUPID DREAM!_

_"Ah, then we could be buddies." WHAAAAT? Khan MUST'VE imagined that._

_Though he already knew the answer, Khan asked, "And who are you?"_

_"I am," the Elvenking paused dramatically, suddenly he yelled, "HIT IT!" disco lights turned on and disco music started playing, the king whirled around and struck a pose, and sang, "THRANDUIL, THE PARTAY-KING OF SMIRKWOOOOOOOD!"_

_Khan didn't think his mouth could fall open any further until he saw the sunglasses that _**_Thranduil _**_ was wearing, wait a minute! he recognized those from his era as tyrant! He stared open mouthed at the Elvenking who was now dancing around. Wait, were those bellbottoms? _

_The Elvenking pointed at him and sang, "Bring him to the dungeooooooooons!"_

_Khan didn't even resist, he couldn't tear his eyes away (Thranduil was still dancing), it had to be one of the most horrifying things he had ever seen. When, when would this dream end?_

Khan jerked awake, fell of his chair, scrambled back, stood up, knocked over a table and ran into the wall. The dream was that bad. It was the worst dream he had ever had.

It was a nightmare.

**A/N: I am seriously dying death by plot bunnies here. You guys probably think I'm crazy. Well I've got news for you... I AM. HA. Tell me what you think. Rousdower out.**


End file.
